How can we rest while we mother?

"Mothering is a sacred dance—a tapestry of love, sacrifice, and unwavering devotion. Yet, in the depths of nurturing others, we must remember that our own well-being is the foundation from which our motherhood blossoms. Embracing radical self-care as a mother is an act of honoring the intricate balance between tending to our children's needs and nourishing our own souls, for in nurturing ourselves, we model resilience, self-love, and authenticity to the precious souls we guide."

- Tricia Hersey, Rest is Resistance (@thenapministry)

A few weeks ago I listened to a podcast by a Re-parenting & Flow coach and she talked about how we can step out of the capitalist narrative of self-care (where we have to rest in order to be more productive and it’s only superficial self-care) by approaching self-care as play. And it made so much sense. Forget expensive spa weekends, self-care is simply play for adults, activities we engage in to re-awaken our creativity and bring more presence.

Children use play to heal, to process experiences, to connect with themselves. We can do the same. Self-care doesn’t have to be complicated, involve tons of planning nor separate us from our children. We can find opportunities for self-care when we’re with them too. Whether that looks like saying no, setting boundaries, finding moments of connection with them that nurture us or using the small pockets of time when they’re entertained to do LESS and play more.

And how can we make it happen?

First things first… in order to truly rest and look after ourselves we need to start healing individual and generational trauma that makes it difficult for us to say no and to set healthy boundaries. Know that there is no quick fix, the best way is through daily practice so we can get better at it. Better at recognising our needs and our willingness to do something. Remind yourself you are enough, right now. You don’t need to do more. We are not resting so we can do more. We are resting because it’s our right.  

Here’s a non-exhaustive list of things we can do, with and without children, to rest and embrace self-care.

🍃 Lie down on the floor & let your baby play on you, or your child play around you. (I’ve done this and closed my eyes and dozed off for a few seconds)

🍃 Use the 5 minutes of independent play to daydream and forget your to-do list.

🍃 Go to a sound bath or breathwork session.

🍃 Have a shower or a warm bath - in silence. If that’s not possible, have a shower even if your baby cries because you’re not there.

🍃 A sun salutation.

🍃 Take a nap. Not just when the baby sleeps. Anytime.

🍃 Take regular breaks from social media.

🍃 Not responding to texts and emails immediately.

🍃 Dance with yourself or with your baby or child to slow music.

🍃 A meditative walk in nature (with baby in a sling if you’re at that stage).

🍃 Knitting, crocheting, sewing.

🍃 Making deep eye contact.

🍃 Laughing intensely.