My child wants to play with the potty!

Should I let them?

Usually, my short answer is no, the potty isn't for playing. However, the truth is it depends on what stage you're at and what kind of play we're talking about (and what type of parent you are - germophobes be ware!). So, when is it and when isn't it ok to play with the potty?

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What stage are you at?

Some parents worry that they need to "introduce" the potty before they start potty training, but without actually helping them re-learn their body signals, so they break out the potty months before they even start. This usually results in toddlers showing interest in it for a week or two, wearing it like a hat, sitting on it, but not actually getting what it's for, and parents not sure what to do. 

My advice is if you're not ready to start then don't leave it out yet.

If you're starting with the prep phase then it's a good idea to have the potty around. They can practice how to pour it out (start with water) and that's a good way of playing with it. If they want to explore it and wear it like a hat and the potty is clean and you're comfortable with that, go ahead. The novelty will wear off. If you're not, then it's ok to set a gentle limit. Redirect their attention, offer them other "hats" and explain why you don't want them to play with it. 

If you're in the middle of potty training and using the potty every day, then to keep things simple I make it clear that pee and poo are dirty and that we don't touch them. Therefore, playing with the potty isn't a good idea - it's for peeing and pooing only. 

If you're experiencing fear, resistance or if your toddler expresses an interest in toilet-related role play, then go for it! The difference here is the potty is not a hat, but a potty. So they can bring their favourite toys to the potty, have them sit, pee, wipe, dump, flush, the whole thing - and all without putting their hands in it. 

If you're practising EC and your mobile baby is playing with the potty, then it's a bit different as the potty is always out and being used, so a bit of play and exploration will likely happen at some stage. It's still ok to set limits, just know that some babies even crawl towards or play with the potty as a sign that they need to go! 

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In a nutshell

Sometimes it's ok, sometimes it's not. Like with all things parenting, start by exploring your own feelings around germs. Decide what is acceptable to you and what is definitely not, so you and your co-parent can set consistent limits if needed and respond without panic. You may find you're ok with a bit of "hat" play but not with them putting it on the kitchen counter, and that's ok!

One last thing (well, two...)

I recently became certified as an Aware Parenting Instructor. If you're not familiar with this parenting philosophy, you can find the 10 Principles of Aware Parenting on their website. I'll soon be offering consultations and help to parents and parents-to-be. 

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