Potty training disaster…?
Did you try potty training your toddler but it didn't go to plan? Or perhaps you’re worried about getting started because you want to avoid some of the horror stories you've heard?
From experience and research, here are the main reasons why potty training tends to get derailed. First I’ll mention that it rarely has anything to do with age or “readiness” of the child.
First of all, if you have tried potty training but didn’t succeed first time around, don’t beat yourself up or think that your toddler isn’t capable or that you’re a bad parent. The last thing I wish is for parents to feel judged or guilty about “not doing it right”. In fact, there isn’t a wrong or right, but only what works for you and your family. But if you are considering getting started or trying again here are some tips of things you can do or avoid.
I invite you to be prepared. Although there isn’t a “one size fits all” approach to potty training, there are certain parts of the process that are essential for our children to learn their body signals, such as having some time at home of parent-supported naked learning. The majority of toddlers don’t resist potty training if we allow autonomy, but if during this time you experience fear or resistance, it helps to be prepared.
Are you over prompting? In the beginning, it’s perfectly normal to be constantly thinking about the toilet and it’s also very tempting to want to ask our toddlers if they need to wee. However, this only tends to result in a firm NO (often followed by a wee on the floor a few minutes later). After the period of naked learning and once the child has shown they know what to do, the best course of action is to let them have as much control of the process as possible according to their age and abilities.
Not trusting our children or thinking they’re not ready. This is a tricky one… when things start to go wrong or if they don’t progress quickly enough, we’re often told by friends, relatives or nursery staff with good intentions, that our child isn't ready and to try again in a few months. I definitely believe in taking a break when needed and in the method I teach there is the option of a 2-week “reset”, but the problem with thinking they’re not ready is that we see the nappy as the easy option and revert back to what we know, often for many months, thus conveying the message to our children that we don’t trust them and that they’re not capable.
So what to do next?
Wondering what to do if you tried once but it didn’t go to plan? Prepare, prepare & prepare! It’s perfectly normal to feel apprehensive, so the best thing I can recommend is to be prepared - so you can feel confident in guiding your child, gently but firmly.
My next potty training class is on October 8 at 19:30 and there are 3 places left. Or if you'd rather read a book, you can find a clear plan plus some troubleshooting tips in the Tiny Potty Training Book.