Exploring Interoception
Helping Babies Stay Connected
Interoception is the ability to be aware of internal sensations in our body.
From the moment we are born, we are completely in tune and aware of our bodily sensations. When babies need contact, they let us know. When they are hungry, they know instinctively to turn their mouth to the breast. When they are tired, they sleep.
When I say babies are innately wise, this is what I mean: they are deeply connected to themselves and their needs. Every sensation flows through their bodies and is expressed so they can connect with us, their caregivers, and get their needs met.
Often, life and our cultural conditioning gets in the way as they grow older. Perhaps they get the message that it’s not convenient for us when they feel hungry at certain times, or that it’s not ok to express their desire for human touch or to be picked up or their need to be upset at other times. Maybe we rocked and shushed when they cried as a baby or told them to stop crying when we didn’t have capacity to listen to their tears. Because babies are dependant on us for their survival and attachment needs, they have no option but to stop paying attention to what happens in their bodies - even when they felt a strong emotion or a need that was crying out to be met.
And so slowly, they lose that strong connection to their bodily sensations, their internal compass. And just a reminder that this is not a judgement of you as a parent, rather an invitation to see things in a different light. And that we have the power to repair the things we would’ve liked to do differently.
So how do we help children reconnect with their interoception?
Things like heart rate, respiration, temperature, hunger, fullness, discomfort, emotions and other sensations which are felt by our nervous system are part of interoception. It is increasingly recognised how it can be beneficial: for example, interoception can affect the potty learning process, sleep, eating and much more.
With this in mind, we can help babies stay connected to themselves by learning to distinguish between when they are hungry and when they have a need to cry. If we are practising EC we can help them stay connected to their need to eliminate. If we are not, we can also keep some awareness by verbalising when they eliminate by saying something like “Oh, you’re doing a poo. I will change you as soon as I can.” When they seem tired we can say “I think you’re feeling tired, I will hold you/lie down with you until you fall asleep.”
The key is to nurture interoception and avoid interfering with its development whenever we can.
Interoception and EC
One of the things we inadvertently tell babies to forget about is weeing and pooing. By using nappies, we tell them that this is something that we, the parents, will be responsible for.
Then one day… We decide it’s time for them to re-learn this process.
Whether you’ve chosen to do EC or not, I find it very useful to remember that babies are born with awareness of when they need to wee and poo. By talking to babies and telling them what is happening with their bodies, and making sure we change soiled nappies as quickly as possible, we can help keep that connection and send the message that being clean is the norm.
If your baby is under 12 months old and you would like to learn more about EC, I have a short course that covers everything you need to know to get started (and how to wrap up too!). You can find it here. You can also watch a free preview by clicking on the "Free Preview" underneath the Introduction.