The truth about screens and aggression
With so many "educational" options being marketed for young children today—cartoons, films, and games—it’s easy to think that screens can help children process their feelings. Maybe by letting them “practice” their aggression in a game, calming them down with a video, or watching a show about healthy emotional expression.
But here’s the truth: screens will never replace real-life experiences, especially when it comes to emotional development. It’s like expecting kids to learn how to swim by watching YouTube tutorials without ever stepping into the water.
As the holiday season approaches, you might even feel tempted to buy games that claim to help children manage big emotions or practice self-control. But here’s the thing: children process their emotions, including aggression, through movement, tears and play.
Screens might seem like a quick fix—“Here, use this game to let your frustration out instead of hitting your sister”—but this approach overlooks the real cause. Aggressive behaviour stems from an accumulation of feelings, with the child’s nervous system stuck in fight-or-flight mode. They’re bursting with energy that needs to come out somehow, and their immature brains don’t yet have the tools to manage it constructively. Hence the importance of crying and raging, hence why screens can't do that.
Screens and games can help us dissociate in the moment, bu they simply can’t provide the healthy release kids need. In fact, relying on them may leave feelings of frustration and tension unresolved, bubbling just below the surface. What kids really need are real-world outlets like crying, raging, or engaging in physical and attachment play.
In my Empowered Parenting Course, we dive deep into understanding the roots of behaviours like aggression and explore practical, compassionate strategies to support your child.
With 8 hours of self-paced content, a 1:1 session, and a live Q&A in March, this course gives you the tools to navigate the ups and downs of parenting with confidence. Sign up today and get the separate Aggression course for free if you join before the end of the year!